Welcome to The “Shay Your Date Diva” Blog!

It is my passion to help as many people get what they deserve out of love, dating and relationships.  I have written articles on just about every topic concerning love with the hope that it will help shed light on some of your pressing questions and dilemmas.  Please be patient with yourself as you travel on your journey to attracting your “perfect partner.”  There is no such thing as a “perfect person” but there are people out there who would be perfect for you! Your quest will not be to find a partner.  It will be to heal that part of you that keeps you from attracting him into your life.  Once you identify what that barrier is, you will then be ready to attract your soul mate in less than 30 days and the books I have written will be a great asset for you to educate yourself on the dating game and the psychology of men that will give you an advantage in the dating world.  If you want to break through your limiting beliefs and behaviors that hold you back, join D.I.V.A University.  If you have healed your issues and are ready for love but clueless about the process of finding and meeting Mr. Right, join D.I.V.A University.  If you are experiencing a heart breaking situation and need answers and a one-on-one healing coach that will help you over the darkest days of a break up, make an appointment for one of my one-on-one coaching/ advice service.  I do not have the time to answer every question without an appointment but I will select one question submitted to the blog per week and post it with my response.  My answer will not be as detailed as my one-on-one service would be but it does get down to the main idea of my recommendation.
I wish you all the best in life, love and dating and Your Journey To Love Begins Today!

With Love,

Shay Your Date Diva

Avoiding Fantasia’s Mistake of Dating The Married Man

Posted on 8/27/2010 at 6:04:49 PM

A lot of people have something to say about Fantasia dating a married man.  It’s easy to say that you would never date a married man and women, especially married, tend to have some very strong opinions about women who get involved with married men, but until you’ve walked in their shoes, you can’t judge or even come close to understanding why she would let it happen.  When it comes to a woman falling for a married man, most of the time there is a lot more to it than just deciding that she is going to set out to be a home-wrecker that day!

It appears that Fantasia met a man who seemed to have all of the qualities that she was looking for in a man, who said all of the right things. After several months of dating and having strong feelings for him, many women may even find out that he’s married. There are other women like Fantasia who may meet a man who is upfront about the fact that he’s in a marriage that isn’t working and because there is a connection, she takes a chance that he means it when he says that it’s over.

Whether the man is just a pro at saying all the right things, or someone who was really in an unhappy marriage and found someone with whom he shares a real connection; a woman can find herself in a very hard place and the last thing she needs is to be judged by anyone.

If you find yourself in love with a married man; you need to face the probability that he may not leave his wife and be prepared to endure quite a bit of pain and heartache and be willing to end it sooner rather than later. The guilt of messing with a married man, diminishing self-esteem and late night booty visits are just not worth the few moments of euphoria. Finding the strength to leave a man that you love is heart wrenching, but you need to love you first and foremost.

Far too many women find themselves strung along for years and years thanks to empty promises. If he says that he is leaving a bad marriage, don’t spend any more time with him and become even more attached until you know for certain that he has left and actually filed the divorce papers. If you’ve already been with him for a while it’s hard to leave him when you’re in love, but love yourself more and demand better! You should at least set a deadline as to when you will walk away and never look back.

Visit www.lovein30days.com and learn more about attracting your soul mate.

Shay Williams-Garrett aka Shay Your Date Diva is the a speaker and author of “DIVA Don’t Get Played!” and “Mommy DIVA Don’t Get Played!” both dating guides for catching the man of your dreams in 30 days!

Textual Relationships- A No-No For Dating!

Posted on 6/27/2010 at 12:12:01 PM

Texting has changed the way we communicate in relationships. It was made out of convenience but people have turned it into a way to solely communicate. What is even worse is that men with bad intentions or who really may not be serious about a woman have over used texting as a main form of communicating so to control and limit the amount of personal interaction with that woman.  I can remember when I was a single woman having some pet peeves about the way some men approached dating.  My number one pet peeve was a man who was hell bent on using texting as a main form of communication.

There was a time in history when boys were forced to be men and over come their fear of rejection by approaching a woman and asking her for a dance or a date.  There was a time when men had to pick up the phone and maintain a conversation with a woman as an expression that he really cared about her or was interested in getting to know her better.  The lack of certain advanced technology breed better quality men and separated the boys from the men, or the serious good guy from the player.

As technology improves it appears that it has deteriorated the dating process and weakened the connection between man and woman. The purpose of the courting phase is to allow a man who is serious about a woman to demonstrate his intentions and potential love for her through his actions.  While dating, it is a man’s behavior that increases trust and security with in a woman for that man and when a woman is able to see that a man is willing to pick up the phone and take the time out to hear her voice and see how her day went, this adds extra trust credit in the woman’s heart for that man.  The more a woman is able to trust a man, the more she is able to let go and genuinely love and care for him.

Unfortunately, many women settle for a man’s unwillingness to show her that he is serious about her and fall prey to getting played. Women can avoid the heart break so many of us experience if they remember that there are some things that will remain consistent through out the end of time and that one of those things are that if a man really cares for you, he will naturally desire to do what makes you happy.   A man can only confirm that his beloved is happy and that he was successful at his goal of making her happy by checking up on her by means of a daily phone call.  A sweet text here and there peppered through out the day is fine but he receives joy in hearing her voice or seeing her face.

If a man refuses to pick up the phone and call you, chances are that he is just not “feeling” you enough.  The “hey baby” text followed by “you are the most beautiful woman in the world” absent of a follow up call by the end of the day is evidence that he A) is not serious about a relationship with you, B) may be committed to someone else, or C) is a player using the convenient method of texting to carry out his pimp game.

Daily phone calls may not be realistic in the beginning of a relationship but I would suggest that you end textual relationships before they began by being clear of what you are willing to tolerate from the beginning.  If a man is over using text to communicate his feelings for you, simply share with him that you would prefer a phone call to a text message.  If he continues the behavior, cut him loose and keep it moving because he is wasting your time and unwilling to do what it takes to demonstrate to you why he deserves your heart.
Tune into her www.YouTube.com/lovein30days videos or visit www.lovein30dasy and learn more about attracting a good man who is serious about you!

Shay Williams-Garrett aka Shay Your Date Diva is a speaker and author of “DIVA Don’t Get Played!” and “Mommy DIVA Don’t Get Played!” both dating guides for catching the man of your dreams in 30 days!

How I Discovered Love Through Michael Jackson’s Death

Posted on 6/22/2010 at 11:31:32 AM

The death of Michael Jackson was the most devastating moment of my life. It may sound like an over exaggeration as you asks yourself: more than the death of a family member, family pet or being embarrassed or dumped in high school? Yes, the moment I found out that MJ died, it seem like time stood still and my world, as I knew it was changed forever. I also discovered through Michael Jackson’s death what love really felt like and that I had chosen the right man to spend the rest of my life with.

There was no performer on Earth I admired more than Michael Jackson and took personal offense whenever anyone spoke a negative word about him. I even ended a relationship with a guy who spoke poorly about Michael Jackson after I had shared with him how much I loved MJ. In my opinion, if he couldn’t even respect me enough to consider my feelings and keep his negative comments to himself how would he be capable in the heat of an argument to refrain from painful personal attacks that would hurt me? Yes, I was a huge Michael Jackson fan and even felt like a personal friend of his who looked forward to the day I could check off of my “bucket list” a dream of mine to attend a Michael Jackson Concert and meet him in person.

As a child I remember sitting on my daddy’s lap watching Michael Jackson videos all night long into the early morning. A love for Michael Jackson’s music, performances and movies were something both my dad and I shared in common and no matter how rocky my relationship between my father and I got, we still had the bond our love of Michael Jackson maintained.  As a child, I would listen to Michael Jackson music all night long as it lulled me to sleep. I never considered that he wouldn’t be with us forever because growing up I thought that Michael Jackson was immortal and would always be here to share his talent with the world.

That fantasy came crashing down on June 25th, 2009 at 4:23 pm when my mother called me from work and asked me to sit down. She never asked me to sit down before so immediately fear took over and my heart began to speed up. She asked me did I hear about the death of Farrah Fawcett? I exhaled in relief that her news wasn’t more serious and told her that of course I did, it was sad but we all expected that she would pass away soon. As the adrenaline began to wear off and irritation set in, I attempted to rush my mom off the phone while shaking my head and thinking: “did she really call me and interrupt my work to tell me this?” My mother then asked me to hold on a minute and told me that she had some more bad news. She said that Michael Jackson had been rushed to the hospital that afternoon because his heart stopped and it wasn’t looking good. Time stood still and I was no longer breathing. Not Michael! This cannot be real! I told her good bye, hung up the phone and began to pray a desperate prayer that God would spare his life. I knew that I needed to turn on the news to hear the truth of what was really going on but I was not yet ready for any bad news. Twenty minutes later she called me while crying and said that he was gone. I said what do you mean that he is gone? She said that the news was reporting that Michael Jackson passed away. I said that it might be just a rumor, let me check CNN and make sure.
As I turned on CNN, I was relieved because they were still showing that Michael Jackson had been hospitalized! Great! He was not dead and my mother’s news station had made a mistake by reporting the wrong information. My eyes stayed glued on the TV and 10 minutes later the words at the bottom of the channel changed from MICHEAL JACKSON HOSPITALIZED to MICHEAL JACKSON DEAD! I will never forget that moment because I passed out on the floor and woke up crying. My husband who was my fiancé at the time found me on the floor and picked me up and carried me to bed. He did not talk to me or share words of encouragement; he simply was there for me at my lowest moment. My now husband spent the entire night holding me as I cried myself to sleep. When ever I would wake up in the middle of the night to see if this were all a bad dream, I would pinch myself and ask him if Michael Jackson really died today. He would nod his head with compassion in his eyes and hold me tighter as I began to cry all over again.

That day, Michael Jackson, the greatest performer to ever live, died but with in my heart true love gave birth. Before that day, I knew that I loved my fiancé and wanted to marry him but it wasn’t until that day that I was sure that I had made the right decision. On June 25th we will remember an icon that shared his life and God-given talent with the world. I will remember the same as well but also reflect on how it was through my Icon’s untimely death, that I discovered with out a shadow of a doubt what unconditional love felt like and that I never wanted to spend a day without it again.

Visit www.lovein30days.com and join us for D.I.V.A University so that you can learn how to attract Love in 30 Days!

Shay Williams-Garrett aka Shay Your Date Diva is a speaker and author of “DIVA Don’t Get Played!” and “Mommy DIVA Don’t Get Played!” both dating guides for catching the man of your dreams in 30 days!

Shay Your Date Diva Top Online Dating Sites

Posted on 6/18/2010 at 2:19:18 PM

There is no secret that I am a huge fan of online dating.  I met my husband on EHarmony and know of many others who have found love on the Internet. As technology improves, one on one contact continues to decrease and this is the reason so many are turning to the net to meet their soul mate.   Online Dating is a growing trend for meeting great love potentials that can grow into a long lasting relationship eventually leading to marriage and many people appreciate the increase in potential options that online dating can provide.

Most individuals who work a “9 to 5” spend most of their day hours at work.  Unless these working singles desire to place their jobs at risk by becoming a defendant in a sexual harassment case or creating an uncomfortable working environment if the relationship does not work out, dating at work is a huge turn off for many singles.  For others who run their own business, working only 8 hours a day is a fantasy that is not often achieved by those struggling to grow and maintain their business.  Many self-employed singles often work 12 or more hours per days if they hope to develop a successful business.  This leaves little time in their life to go out and meet other people.   On the other hand, the singles that choose to go to “happy hour” or a dance club searching for love, find that a “serious” suitor who isn’t just looking to jump in bed with you on the same night is the exception not a rule.

Thus with all of these dating barriers, the net has become an attractive option for securing a love life.  Many, however, fear that predators and people with ill intentions are lurking behind the picture perfect profiles on many online dating sites.  Sure, you can meet many freaks, players and con artist online but you can also meet many of this type of people offline as well.  It only appears like you can meet much more unwanted potentials online because you have a higher rate of contact with the opposite sex online rather than off.  What I find is that most people who are willing to pay the membership fees and take an hour long personality assessment, are more serious about finding “the one” and this is the reason why I believe that not all online dating sites were created equal.

Part of my program of attracting a great man in 30 days is signing up for at least 3 -5 quality online dating sites for no less than 6 months.  I recommend this so to increase your man magnetism, options and probability of finding your soul mate.  Learning the rules of online dating will help to not only decrease the probability of attracting the “freaks” online but will also help you to protect yourself from potentially dangerous situations.  Below I have listed my top favorite online dating sites and the pros of each one in an effort to make your online dating experience a little more enjoyable.
1.    EHarmony
As you all know, EHarmony is where I met my soul mate and current husband so I am a bit impartial to this online dating site.  What we both enjoyed about EHarmony was the compatibility profile that each member must take and the fact that the quality of the members was really high.  On this site, they do not allow you to just scroll through the profile of the “good looking” potentials but send to your inbox only those who may be compatible with you.  So, if you are seeking love and deep levels of compatibility, then this is the matchmaking site for you. Millions of singles have found each other through eHarmony and you can too.

2.    Chemistry
Chemistry.com is becoming one of my favorite dating site recommendations because I love the fact that the site matches singles based on elements of both compatibility and chemistry.  It is nice to know that the person who you are meeting has already been determined to potentially be compatible with you and can potentially ignite a spark that is necessary to keep the love flames burning once ignited.  This is so much more appealing then blindly meeting someone at the grocery store whom you may be attracted to but not compatible with and not find this out until after several months of dating and courtship. In my opinion, this site offers singles an excitingly fresh approach to love.

3.    ChristianSingles.com
For a single woman or man with Christian values, this dating site is a uniquely exciting online dating site.   I do not recommend that you drop your guard while dating on this site because it is a Christian dating site, there are people with bad intentions everywhere.  I like the site because the matches are less likely to be casual daters looking for only a physical relationship or disrespect you by discussing sex or other negative behaviors on the first date.  The standard and assumption between both matches will mostly likely be that you are meeting some one with common Christian values.  If meeting someone who is a Christian is a must for you then ChristianSingles.com is a great option because you do not have to worry about meeting a great guy who happens to be of another religion or worse – an atheist.

4.    PerfectMatch.com
Here is another online dating site I favor especially if you are tired of meeting immature matches on and off line.  This site is great for the divorced, more senior, relationship-oriented adult, but not the casual dater.  Every member is required to take the compatibility test but is allowed to search beyond the compatibility recommendations.  I like this site a lot because I know of several previously divorced and mature couples that were married after meeting on this site.

5.    Match.com
The worse thing about online dating is that there are so many “junk” dating sites out there. If it is free then I can assure you that you will meet more bad apples looking for a bed buddy than a great future marriage partner.  Match.com is a great site because there are so many options to choose from as well as professional quality people.  The most attractive feature on match are the keywords that you can add to your profile so that when someone else with the same interest does a search under the same key word, your beautiful face will pop up.  I do not like the browse through pictures option that Match offers but I do feel that if you prepare a strong enough profile you can sit back and allow the man to choose and pursue you.  Just remember that although online dating can be a fun and exciting option for meeting men,  the rules of dating remain the same.  He is still the man and it is his job to identify something in your profile description, picture or tag name to be inspired to pursue getting to know you.  Do not worry, when it is time, the right man will show up and pursue you!

How A Man Really Feels When He’s Dumped

Posted on 6/1/2010 at 11:15:52 AM

Shay Williams-Garrett aka Shay Your Date Diva is the a speaker and author of “DIVA Don’t Get Played!” and “Mommy DIVA Don’t Get Played!” both dating guides for catching the man of your dreams in 30 days!

Women are commonly seen as the more emotional sex while men are perceived to be able to get through a break up completely fine with not an ounce of sadness or heartache. The truth of the matter is that a break up is just as hard on a man as it is on a woman. Understanding how a man feels after having his heart broken can give you insight into why a man makes it hard for you to get close and why it’s so difficult for him to let his guard down and love again.

It turns out that several studies have shown that when it comes to the way men and women deal with a break up; men find it far more difficult and are more likely to suffer from depression and stress because of it. This has a lot to do with men having the tendency to keep things bottled up and opting to mask their pain with nights out drinking with the guys or having sex with anything that walks instead of doing what women often do: cry, talk it to death with friends and then cry some more. Women deal with the feelings and men prefer to ignore them in hopes that they will just disappear.

When a guy gets with his boys, it’s not likely that he is going to break down in tears and profess to his friends that he feels hurt and rejected and wishes his ex girlfriend would come back. Men just don’t form bonds that intimate with anyone—except their girlfriends, so when he experiences an unwanted break up; he has not only lost his love but also the one person he’d be most likely to confide in about the more ‘sensitive’ issues.

In addition, many men admit that they do not like starting over and having to get back in the dating game from scratch. The excitement of all the new possibilities (i.e.; girls to have sex with) is fleeting because what they eventually miss is the comfort and stability of a relationship. So we’re wrong when we envision a newly single guy to be out there playing the field and sexing a different woman every night, even if he claims that this is what he going to do.

It’s also been shown that men take a lot longer to heal after a break up and find it incredibly difficult to move on. This is why it’s so important to move slowly and make him pursue you, as this is the only way that you can be more confident that he is emotionally available to be with you. If you push him, come onto him or pursue him, you risk winding up with someone who is just settling for the ease of it all instead of a man who is completely sure that he wants to be with you and only you.

If you’re seeing a man who is having trouble letting his guard down, just try to be patient and remember that he may have been burned in the past just like you have and that he just needs to tread carefully until he feels certain that you aren’t going to do the same to him.

Backround Check Your Man!

Posted on 5/31/2010 at 11:16:32 AM

Tune into my www.YouTube.com/lovein30days videos and learn more about valuing your “v!”

Shay Williams-Garrett aka Shay Your Date Diva is a speaker and author of “D.I.V.A. Don’t Get Played!” and “Mommy D.I.V.A. Don’t Get Played!” Learn more about her at www.lovein30ays.com

An acquaintance of mine recently shared her situation with me that made me realize how important a lot of what I teach in my books, videos and classes is. I constantly stress the importance of making sure that you really know someone before sleeping with him or bringing them home around your kids.  I have even recommended that you go as far as having a background check done on your man that includes a criminal history, STD status, and demanding that if he was ever married, he shows you his divorce certificate.  I am currently writing a book on my love life story and how because I miss one step in this suggested due diligence process, I became a victim a nightmare that included being stalked and harassed on and offline.  Many of you may think that what I suggest is being a little excessive and overboard, but when you hear what happened to a woman I know; you will realize that I am right.

Imagine meeting a man that has all of the amazing qualities that you’ve been looking for, falling in love and moving in with him. After having two children with him, you ask him when is he going to ask for your hand in marriage.  He gives you a song and dance about how it will happen soon enough but just not yet.  The years continue to fly by as he continues to put off his proposal and you go on accepting his excuses only to find yourself 8 years later still playing house with him! You don’t really understand why he won’t marry you, but you stay because your love and hope keeps you there.

It is hard to imagine seeing your man’s face every day for eight years and finding out that he was pretty much a stranger to you who had a whole other life that you never knew about because he went out of his way to keep it hidden. Envision one day you get a call that your man has died in a car accident and your whole world comes crashing down. All of your hopes and dreams for the future are now wiped away and you are left devastated. You can’t imagine feeling any worse when you stumble upon a whole bunch of information about him that you never knew. The death of a relative seems to bring everyone out of the woodwork; from those paying their respects to those looking for anything of material value that the dead may have left behind. Imagine that while dealing with the death of the man that you loved who is the father of your children whom you spent almost a decade with, you discover that he has children that you never knew he had! Five different children from three different mothers—none of which you ever had any idea existed! He was still even married to one of these women.

You really do believe that you know someone after eight years and some people are even convinced that after only a couple of months that they know their man inside out! Love can make a person do crazy things, including compromising their own safety, sanity and even their lives because we let our hearts rule and tune out what our heads and loved ones are telling us.

This unlucky woman devoted the last eight years of her life to a man who wouldn’t marry her, only to find out that he had been lying from day one. She wanted marriage, but thought that she was doing the right thing by compromising since the timing wasn’t yet right for him. She spent eight years sleeping with the enemy so to speak, and the most painful truth is that she allowed it!

Take note of all of this and realize that I am not being paranoid or just old fashion when I stress the importance of inspecting a man’s history before things get too serious and not living with someone before marriage. This woman could have been any one of us who lost precious years of our youth while waiting on a man who did not deserve our heart. She will now have to lose more time trying to heal and move on from this lesson and she most likely will have trouble loving and trusting again..   Learn from her mistakes and never allow someone to just tell you who they are or force you to compromise what you truly want.  The time, heart ache and _potential drama are not worth it.

Visit www.lovein30days.com and join us for D.I.V.A University, for more on how to find out all about a man’s past before committing to him as well as reasons why living together before marriage is a mistake.

Letting Go Is Like Heart Break Rehab

Posted on 5/26/2010 at 3:45:19 PM

Shay Your Date Diva is the Author and Creator of “DIVA Don’t Get Played!” A Single Woman’s Dating Guide To Catching The Man of Your Dreams in 30 Days! www.lovein30days.com

I’ve touched on the subject of breaking up so often that I feel like a broken record every time I receive a new email from a heart broken DIVA or Boo who cant seem to let go of the good memories of their ex. Having one’s heart broken not only affects us during the break up but even for a long time after the relationship has ended. When you have gotten used to having someone in your life, whether things were good or bad, it can feel like hell facing your life without them. Even when you know deep down that you’re better off without him, you still crave contact with him and miss him in a way that can only be compared to an addiction—deep down you know it’s wrong, but you can’t seem to help yourself.

The truth is that you really do have an addiction and you must go through the withdrawal in order to feel like a normal person again. Many return to their destructive relationships because the withdrawal symptoms are so uncomfortable that they just turn around and go back to a mess that should have never been in the first place. The relationship is over for a reason and those reasons will not disappear just because you desperately miss them. It is understandable that your heart has that sinking feeling with in it right now that feels like hunger and fear all mixed up as one and multiplied by one thousand but it is important that you keep moving forward! Take each day at a time and put one foot in front of the next and pretty soon you will start to feel like you have your old self back.

Your “addiction” will last as long as you choose to allow it to control your thoughts, feelings and emotions. This is why, like with any addiction, you must stop cold turkey and leave that jerk alone that broke your heart. You may feel like it’s love but in actuality you were biologically addicted to the “high” the relationship caused you as your serotonin increased each time you saw or thought about them. Serotonin is a feel good hormone that is release in high quantities when people fall in love. Some say that it is this hormone, not love, which causes us to irrationally make decisions concerning the beloved or the relationship early on with in the relationship. If you tell yourself the truth, the relationship really was not “all that” to begin with and you probably should have left a long time ago. They did not deserve you and surely are not worth your river of tears.

If the break up occurred because of your own wrong doings, forgive yourself and count it as a lesson learned. It may hurt even more knowing that it was your actions or inactions that caused you to loose such a great catch but do not let this heart break go down in vain. Look at yourself in the mirror, be honest with yourself and make the necessary changes. If it is meant to be, the ex who you lost will forgive you and give you another chance. I write the last paragraph with a bit of hesitancy because I know that many of you will make excuses for the ex who walked out of your life and convinced you that it was all your fault. If they made you cry more than you laughed and treated you less than you know you deserved, then it was NOT your fault that the relationship ended. Be thankful for the great person who is on their way into your life now that you have made room for them.
Although you have been hurt, do not allow your ex to continue to hurt you past the grave of your relationship by choosing to close your heart to future love experiences. Let go, move on and learn better so that the next relationship is the love experience you deserve!

Are Single DAD’s More Attractive To The Opposite Sex

Posted on 5/26/2010 at 2:17:31 PM

Shay “Your Date Diva” Williams-Garrett is the Author and Creator of “Mommy DIVA Don’t Get Played! A Single Mom’s Dating Guide To Catching The Man Of Your Dreams in 30 Days!” www.lovein30days.com

I have done many articles on single moms who date and have helped many women transform their out look on being a “single mom.” With that in mind, I thought it would be an interesting change of events to have a look at what’s out there about dating single dads. Many single mothers prefer dating single dads because having children is not only something that they share in common, but many single moms are more comfortable dealing with a man who they know for sure won’t freak out about the fact that she is a mother. Through out my book, videos and teachings, I encourage women to open their options and mind about being a single woman with children as I remind them that the only thing that causes a man to “freak out” about you is what ever you are insecure about.  Many single moms carry the feeling that they are “damaged goods” or “undesirable” simply because they come with additional blessings in the form of children.

On the other hand, I found that although being a single dad has its challenges, many single men with children do not carry these same feelings of insecurity.  After reading this article on Canoe.com, it made me feel good to know that single dads view having children as a benefit to their ability to attract the opposite sex instead of a hindrance and because of this belief, many single dads see great results in attracting the opposite sex while out with their children. The article was also a nice reminder that not all men who leave their children’s mothers are bad news or deadbeats but in fact, there are a lot of great men out there who cherish their time with their kids and are having the same trouble looking for unconditional love that women are. It was quite endearing reading the views of single dads who are trying to balance work, kids and dating.

The article gives similar advice to single dads that I do to my single mommy D.I.V.As in my book, “Mommy DIVA Don’t Get Played!” It covers the importance of not bringing everyone you date around your children and to be very cautious as to who you do introduce to them and also explains that bringing a constant string of dates around your child will further plant the seed that the people you care about always leave which is especially damaging since children of divorce have a tendency to feel that way in the first place.

It was also pretty funny to read the perspective of the single dads who all mentioned that while being a single dad makes it hard to find the time to date, it actually makes it really easy for them to get dates because being a dad seems to be some kind of a ‘chick magnet’!  Seeing a man with his child can make even the hardest woman melt to a puddle of goo!  On the same note, seeing a good woman caring for her children with pride and security can attract even a single man with no children.

The article also mentioned that there are women out there—single moms included—who aren’t too big on the idea of raising someone else’s kids just as there are men who aren’t up for it. I can relate. A man may find you more appealing because of all the qualities that you possess thanks to being a mother, but at the same time; finding the patience to deal with issues concerning someone else’s kids can be hard as well.

All in all it was a great article with good tips for single dads who are dating or for the women who are involved with a single dad.

How To Get Over Your Ex!

Posted on 5/10/2010 at 9:05:47 PM

Sex Too Soon

Posted on 4/27/2010 at 8:02:44 PM

Hi SHAY THE FANTASTIC FABULOUS DATE DIVA!
muwah to you
Hopefully you havent answered this question in a video already but I have watched them all seekin` answers but theres this guy..
We have been conversating every since JAN..
he has taken me on dates we`ve took road trips && done soo much more
Now i have found myself attached to him he`s a great guy!
BUT I have had sex with him..BECAUSE I COULD NOT FIGHT THE FEELIN` && shame on me
I was wondering do you think its possible for a relationship b/t us like Boyfriend & Girlfriend ??

His BIO : still has friendship or maybe more with his babymama
— he has his tendacy to be very sneaky && after the sex there hasnt been any more dates
because he`s been terribly busy but he still does come see me && we hang

Really need to know should I leave him alone before my feelings get more attached because I do want a relationship or should I continue the friendship because it could lead to more….

im counting on you date diva
Please Help!

Sweetie,
Although I do not answer emails anymore through YouTube because I only have time to take appointments on my website but I had to respond to your situation because so many woman make the same mistake. I do not understand why a beautiful DIVA like you do not listen to your instincts.  You said to me in your email that you KNEW that you should NOT have had sex with him but you  could not help it.

The problem is that your guy said everything he needed to say in order to get what he wanted.  The Vajajay! Now that he has gotten it, he is no longer motivated to chase after it.  Sure he still comes over at night most likely to get the free goodies you are giving him but because you did not set high standards in the beginning and make him earn your heart, he sees no reason to make you his girlfriend or take you out anymore.
If they have not even committed to you, having sex with them is out of the question.  You are worth more than that!  Giving a man your liquid sunshine before commitment is like buying gas with out a car!

Now to answer your question: yes, you should leave this guy alone and definitely not have sex with him any more.  I do not recommend remaining friends with him because in a friendship both people are suppose to benefit.  In this situation, only he benefits while you are standing holding your heart and wondering where this relationship is going.

I know that you have feelings for him but do not allow your feelings and your vagina to stand in the way of you meeting a great love potential who would be happy to win your heart.

With Love,

Shay Your Date Diva